Worst gift:
My MIL once gave me a tin of Cadburys biscuits for Christmas ... or
should I say a biscuit tin ... they kept the biscuits and sent me
the empty tin!!! Last Christmas we told her she shouldn't buy
a gift, and should give the money to charity instead. 3/14
signed - They Kept The
Biscuits
Worst gift:
My mother-in-law gave me toilet cleaner!! Need I say more? 3/18
signed - Toilet Cleaner?
RESPONSE: Toilet Cleaner?
Only someone with a cr*ppy attitude (like your MIL) would give a gift
like that ... no pun intended. 3/20
Worst gift:
This story is not about my receiving a gift, but about me giving one.
After unwrapping her birthday present, my MIL put it to one side without
comment. She carefully folded up the wrapping paper, handed
it back to me and said that I should take it as I could probably make
use of it again in order to save some money. My humiliation
was complete! 3/15
signed - Thanks MIL!
RESPONSE: Thanks MIL!
My MIL is also terrible at receiving gifts. She has the nerve,
as a holiday or her birthday approaches, to tell us what to buy her.
And, of course, it is always something very expensive. She never
asks us what we want, just chooses the least expensive item she can
find. Last Easter, she had me run around picking up baskets
and gifts for all her children, her children's spouses, and her grandkids.
Then, she had the nerve to tell me that she couldn't afford to get
me or my husband (her son) anything. I don't care about myself.
But since we spent the holiday with all of them, it would have been
nice if MIL had at least gotten a $2 chocolate bunny for my husband
like she did her sons-in-law. And we are the ones who live near
her and who run about as her slaves. Anyway, my relation to
this story is: A few years ago for mother's day, I made it a goal
that I was going to please this woman with our gift. I hit every
jewelry store in two towns looking for the perfect pair of gold earrings.
Finally found them - at a high price, of course. Anyway, I was
so proud of them. So on Mother's Day, we went to her home to
give her the earrings. You can imagine my heartbreak when she
opened them, took one look at them, and said, "Oh, more earrings."
And, she then sat them down and proceeded to go back to her ironing. 3/18 RESPONSE: Thanks MIL!
My MIL will threaten all her kids before Christmas and her birthday.
She tells them if they get her anything she will be mad and won't
talk to them for a long time. So, we follow her wishes, and
then she seems depressed because she didn't get anything. The
few times one of us has gone against her threats, she acted weird
with us and we got scared that a lecture was coming. But in
the end she usually chilled out. I have even made her crafts
because she has farm animals in her kitchen, she hangs them, but I
can never quite tell if she likes them. 3/22
Worst gift:
I'm not married, but I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years.
So, it would somewhat make his mom my MIL. Two years ago, she
gave me a kiddie sweater with Mickey Mouse running through a field
of flowers for Christmas. I'm 22!!! The sweater was also
TOO small! So, I could not wear it. I went to my parent's
home for Christmas. When I came back, my boyfriend's mom gave
me my late Christmas present. It was an egg with fancy designs
on it. She also gave me chocolate. I later found out that
she had taken this egg from her egg collection. My boyfriend's
mom came over just to catch up with us, since my boyfriend and I spent
Christmas with my parents. She ATE ALL OF MY CHOCOLATE!
I didn't get any! Oh yeah, she also asked for the boxes my gifts
were in, the gift wrap and gift bag back. 3/3
signed - Basically I Got
Nothing
Worst gift:
This wasn't really the worst gift EVER. And it was well meant.
But it was funny! My husband and I only have a shower, which
is fine. We happily take showers every evening! My in-laws
have a bathtub. They have a beautiful bathroom, but they never
clean it. The tub is filthy and the toilet is always on the
verge of overflowing. ANYWAY, my MIL told my husband and I that
each one of us could come over ONCE A WEEK and take a bath in their
tub. Isn't that funny? Whether we need it or not!
Incidentally, she is always whining about being bored. She opts
not to work (even though they need the money), and stays home all
the time. Then she tries to convince us that her boredom is
a serious problem, and that we need to pitch in and rescue her.
It comes to a head from time to time. You'd think she'd clean
the bathroom once in a while if she's so bored and has all that extra
time on her hands!! I'm not that great at keeping things clean,
either, but at least I'm BUSY!! I SURE don't sit around complaining
about being bored when my house desperately needs a cleaning.
Well, I guess that's my relationship with my MIL. Neither of
us totally approves of the way the other does things. But it's
not the lack of cleaning that I am critical of, it's the whining about
being bored. Does anyone understand that? I WISH I had
time to be bored! 3/3
signed - It's Not My Year
for a Bath, Anyway! (joking)
Worst gift:
I do receive a gift from my MIL each birthday and Christmas.
However, it is always clothes which (apart from two nice items which
I do actually wear) are usually consigned to the back of the wardrobe
awaiting the next charity shop clear out. However, last Christmas
she surpassed herself with an ensemble of a nylon lavender colored
vest with tiny concertina pleats. This was matched with an over-shirt
of the same material and design but in a sort of chocolate/maroon
color. It was truly awful, and certainly not designed for anyone
under the age of 70. I was so embarrassed to unwrap this item
in front of my parents (visiting for Christmas) and particularly my
husband, that I hid it away before they saw it. However, my
husband found it a few days later, and was so disgusted that he immediately
marched me back to the shop where it came from (my MIL always puts
the receipt in with the gift) to get a refund. The only thing
I can say is that bad taste doesn't come cheap!!! 3/9
signed - Bad Taste Doesn't
Come Cheap
Worst gift:
Does this count? My "worst gift" entry is that my
MIL, when it comes to ANY gift for ANY occasion one might have reason
to expect to receive a gift (birthday, Xmas, holidays, etc.) has NEVER
given me a gift! Her reason (which she has said more than once,
DIRECTLY to my face, and in front of DH, no less)? "I only
get gifts for members of my family." 12/19
signed - Never Got One
RESPONSE: Never got one
I can't believe the gall that that woman has. I would smack
her! I hate my mother in law!!!! 12/21 RESPONSE: Never Got One
That's along the same lines as my husband's brother (I even hate to
give him the title BIL) - anyway, he used to get only my husband Christmas
gifts. When asked why he didn't include me, he said, "She's
not FAMILY." He was really bothered by the fact that they
are Caucasian and I'm Asian. He doesn't believe people should
marry outside their race. What an idiot. 12/22 RESPONSE: Never Got One
How did your DH respond to her when she said you weren't part of her
family? You and your hubby became a package deal when you got
married, so if you aren't part of her family, neither is he.
Hopefully he has enough of a spine to stand up for you. Good
luck! 1/8 RESPONSE: Never Got One
Well, take the money you would have used to buy your MIL a gift and
treat yourself to something special. If she inquires as to where
her gift is, tell her YOU only buy gifts for family members.
You can't change some people. Don't suffer and fret. Go
out and treat yourself ! 2/21 RESPONSE: Never Got One
What a you-know-what your MIL is!! My MIL does give out gifts,
but the gifts she gives her two daughters are noticeably worth more
than the gifts she gives her sons. I am also not considered
"family" because I am not her blood. For that, I am
actually grateful!! I would ease up on the gifts you and your
husband are expected to give her if she can't be nice and reciprocate. 2/23 RESPONSE: Never Got One
Since she only gives gifts to members of her family, the next time
she wants to visit tell her, "I only invite friends and members
of my own family." If she asks what you meant by the comment,
remind her of hers, and tell her how you feel! 2/26 RESPONSE: Never Got One
Same here, but it's a FIL in my case. He was a widower when
I married my H (18 years ago). H asked him why he didn't so
much as send me a card. He said, "Your mother used to take
care of the gift giving. I just didn't get into the habit.
I never remember when her birthday is (it's 12 days after FIL's -
always has been, always will be)." He NEVER forgets anyone
else but me. But if you give him his gifts late, you have hell
to pay. Here's the kicker. He once called my H and told
him to send my BIL's girlfriend a birthday card. She and my
BIL were married to other people. Sick! 3/14
Worst gift:
Well, I have a good MIL worst gift story. Before I begin, my
MIL is not a bad person, unlike most of the MILs discussed here.
I feel terrible for all of you. How can people be so mean, especially
to their own family members? Anyway, for Christmas, my MIL used
to give both my DH and I a paper grocery bag full of things she'd
picked up over the past year at garage sales. She's a real garage
sale hound, and buys everything used. She's not poor, but is
constantly afraid she'll wake up one day and have no money.
She stands to inherit a very large sum from her 90 year old father,
but that's another story. Anyway, last year, when she mentioned
that it was getting harder and harder for her to find things for us
for gifts, since we already have everything we need, we suggested
that, instead of trying so hard to find things for us, we should all
go out for dinner together. She could treat, and that could
be her gift to us. Nothing more would be expected. It
worked, and we did go out to dinner. We did exchange token gifts
this past holiday, and she actually bought us new things. I
guess she got the message that we didn't want (or need) a couple of
bags worth of used crap. 3/3
signed - Basically, I Got
Nothing
RESPONSE: Basically, I Got Nothing
LOL! I would get along great with your MIL -- I'm a yard sale
hound, too! I also learned that not everyone appreciates used
gifts -- but I must have been in my 30s before I figured it out!
Our family actually gave a lot of used things as holiday presents
when I was a kid. It sounds like you both handled it well, and
she took the hint. 3/4
Worst gift:
Here's a Christmas gift that I received in 2000. My MIL gave
her other DIL personal stationery with the Letter "B" on
the top (our married last names start with a B). She gave me
the same type of gift, but with the first letter of my MAIDEN NAME
on top! 2/14
signed - Passenger On The
MIL Train To Hell
Worst gift:
When I met my husband, I knew he was very close to his mother.
I admired that in him at first, but it started to get old after a
while. When we found out we were pregnant with our first son,
before we could even enjoy the moment, who did he call right away?
You got it! She would tell me stories about her mother-in-law
making plans without telling her, and stopping by without calling,
etc. Then, it started happening to me. The latest irking
story: As a Christmas gift, my IL's offered to pay for an extension
on our house (we have two boys in a two bedroom house). I abruptly
told my husband, "NO!" He didn't like that.
I explained to him that this is OUR house, and it is our business
when we want to extend. I just have a feeling this would also
give them the idea that it would make them "privileged"
to come as they please. Anyway, I just found out that my SIL
may be working near our home, and that she will be staying here with
us with her son and boyfriend (and what a perfect time to extend our
house). Hmmm ... How convenient to disguise this Christmas gift.
I asked my husband about it and he defended them. Is it soooo
hard to discuss these situations like adults? 2/10
signed - Trying to be a
patient DIL
RESPONSE: Trying to be a patient DIL
You're more than patient -- please don't doubt that. What do
you mean, your SIL and her boyfriend and son will be staying with
you? Don't you have ANY say in that? Are you sure you
want to be in this situation? It's your house, and it sounds
like you're being totally walked on and disrespected. It's really
upsetting. 2/13 RESPONSE: Trying to be a patient DIL
Do you mean that you just found out that they have made arrangements
to be staying with you without your knowledge or input? Doesn't
your husband have any respect for you, or even treat you as a partner
or an equal? That is YOUR home, and regardless of whether or
not it is his family, you have no obligation to take them in.
They definitely have no right to be treating you this way. You
are being much too patient. I can't believe that you wouldn't
be more upset by this. Put a stop to any construction plans,
and in my eyes, I think you should move further away. Maybe
it's time for you to put the house up for sale - suggest that the
sister in law buy it. Good luck, and don't forget to stand up
for yourself! It's one thing to be the bigger person and not
want to cause a fight, but it's not right for you to let them walk
all over you. 2/23
Worst gift:
My MIL gave me this awful checkered and polka dotted flannel nightgown
that went from my chin to my ankles. To make matters worse,
it still had the $4.95 price tag on it. She gave her other daughter
in law (whom she also despises) some other obviously cheap gift, too.
But the nightgown was just too ugly and too funny, so for the past
6 years my SIL and I have been wrapping it up, still with the price
tag on it, and gifting it back and forth to each other each Christmas!!!
Needless to say, the MIL was not amused. 2/25
signed - Right Back In
Her Face
Worst gift:
My MIL buys a ton of expensive, brand name make-up products.
Well, lucky me! Every year for Christmas I also get a ton of
these products. She gives me all of the samples marked "not
for individual sale", which she gets free all year when she buys
all her real stuff. 1/31
signed - Sloppy Seconds
RESPONSE: Sloppy Seconds
I can relate: My MIL is an independent beauty consultant for a large
and well known makeup company. Every birthday, Christmas, and
anniversary all I get from her are samples, even though she is well
aware that I do not wear make-up! 2/19 RESPONSE: Sloppy Seconds
My MIL and I both like to shop at thrift stores, and I think I've
figured out a way to give her thrift store presents (we don't have
much money, either of us) without offending her. By giving her
nice presents, too, and not trying to pass the thrift store presents
off as nice presents, but LABELING them as additional, fun, thrift
store presents. I think the insulting thing about what your MIL's
doing (the poster and the respondent) is trying to pass off what you
know is free stuff from her work as nice gifts. If she'd give
you something nice, and then be honest about wanting to be generous
to you with her samples, that would be another thing. But, it's
like she's trying to pull one over on you. 2/20 RESPONSE: Sloppy Seconds
Is your MIL for real? I can't believe someone would do that
and not think twice about what they were doing and how the recipient
of the gift would feel. When my husband and I were still dating,
and had been together about 2 years, my MIL gave me a big famous brand
department store make-up set. Big Whoop! I knew she was
a huge customer of theirs -- she buys EVERYTHING in their line thinking
it will magically improve her looks (no such luck). It was so
obvious that she was passing off her freebie gift to me. I let
it slide, but I have never forgotten. Maybe it's time you or
your husband call her on it (I know, easier said than done!), or just
start giving her lousy gifts. She is thoughtless and heartless. 2/23
Worst gift:
This wasn't the worst gift, but not so nice as far as I see it.
For Christmas, my MIL gave me a cookbook. Ok, that was nice,
it was a little country cookbook. She told me to look inside.
It said, "Give this to **** (my daughter) when she is older,
and tell her it was from Grandma." Can you please tell
me, who was this cookbook for? Now, to some this might sound
petty, but knowing how my mother in law is, I know this was a slam!
She has hated me from the get go - even begged my DH not to marry
me. This gift was an insult, and nothing less! 2/25
signed - Was This My Gift
Or My Daughter's?
RESPONSE: Was This My Gift Or My Daughter's?
Sigh. I know what you mean. It's that kind of thing that
MILs do that are just tiresome, and a burden. Even if she meant
well (which clearly, she didn't really), it was still putting a burden
on you, and negating any pleasure you might have gotten from the gift.
It's why being around her is so tiresome -- she probably does a bunch
of things just like this. You probably feel like you need either
about 12 hours of sleep or a stiff drink after every get-together
with her (or is that me, with my MIL?). 2/26
Worst gift:
I'm sure I can top off all of your worst gift stories. This
Christmas (2000) I received NOTHING from my MIL. Zero.
Nada. Zilch. Get the picture. Not even a Merry Christmas.
I've been married for 1 year and 1/2. And she is rude and crazy. 2/21
signed - Zero Gift
RESPONSE: Zero Gift
It's just as well. If she gives you such a bad vibe and is such
a witch, any gift from her would just be a burden, anyway. At
least she doesn't give you passive-aggressive, awful little gifts
that are a slap in the face. I bet some of the other respondents
here would just as soon their MIL's didn't even give them anything
-- the gifts are so awful and insulting! 2/22 RESPONSE: Zero Gift
What a "Sweet" MIL. That's ok, I'll share my Xmas
gift with you. It consisted of a bath set she received three
days before Christmas that I watched her unwrap at a party.
The kind of party where the gift limit was less than $10. She
was nice enough to re-wrap it in different paper, but she forgot to
take the tag off the bottom that said, "To: MIL,
From: XXXXX". Hope you like the smell of strawberries!
J 2/22 RESPONSE: Zero Gift
Well, in the 4 years I've been married, I've received no gifts from
my in-laws. The only time I met my father-in-law, he stood there
making racist remarks about Asians (I'm Asian). My hubby nearly
decked him, but there were police nearby. 2/25 RESPONSE: Zero Gift
I wish I had gotten nothing from my MIL for our anniversary this year.
I was looking forward to telling my mother (who has never met my MIL)
about not getting anything. In the first 3 years of marriage,
I also got nothing. That was fine since I don't want anything
from her anyway. But this year, since our anniversary is a day
after Valentine's Day, we got ONE red, cheap, ugly glass flower which
was probably on sale after Valentines Day! I saw something similar
a couple of weekends ago, and the price tag (not surprisingly) was
$10.00!! I can see how much our 4 year anniversary means to
her. 2/28
Worst gift:
Last week I wrote in about the "washer balls" that my MIL
gave me during the Christmas my DH and I were engaged. When
I told him that I had sent that story in, he laughed and asked if
I had told you about what my MIL sent THIS Christmas, the first Christmas
DH and I have been married. So here goes ... She sent me a bottle
of lotion (probably about $8.00). And she sent my DH four tiny,
one-inch-tall bottles of tabasco sauce and a USED guide to the 1999
movies. Merry Christmas, huh? And the thing is, my parents-in-law
ARE NOT hard up. Not at all. They're just really, really
cheap! I just think it's great that my DH can laugh about the
gifts. I'm trying to learn to laugh, too, but I do know that,
even if we laugh, those cheap and tacky gifts actually hurt both me
and my DH quite a bit. It's a real shame. Her gifts, along
with all kinds of other awful things she's done, are really driving
a wedge between all of us. Why would she want to do that? 2/18
signed - Does She Know
That Cheap Gifts Hurt?
RESPONSE: Does She Know That Cheap Gifts Hurt?
Guess what!? My husband got the SAME gift your husband did for
Christmas - tiny Tabasco sauce bottles! We laughed when he opened
his gift, out of shock and the shear tackiness of his gift.
I received something a little cheaper than your gift (if you can believe
that). It was a magazine of recipes with a huge $4.95 sticker
on the back of it, still. We did laugh over those gifts, but
it hurts. Also, I think that was MIL's whole intention - to
make us feel misery on Xmas. Our problem is that this woman
is passive-aggressive, and also a control freak with a capacity to
hold a grudge over every minor infraction. Her husband is a
dish rag she carries around in her back pocket. Get the picture?
They are toxic people who need to be held at arms length. For
the sake of your marriage, don't let these sick disturbed people rob
you of your marriage. 2/22
Worst gift:
One year, my MIL gave me (in an old shoe box) a turkey baster and
a pair of striped tube socks. The year before that (our first
year of marriage), she included a set of wooden pant hangers, which
she clearly said, "These are for my son's pants!" 2/16
signed - A Not-Liked DIL
RESPONSE: A Not-Liked DIL
Yikes. How absurd! Next time, you could decide to just
have fun with the absurdity of her present. You could let yourself
laugh a little and say, wryly, "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!"
Maybe you could even make the old witch laugh, too. 2/17 RESPONSE: A Not-Liked DIL
I know it's hard to believe some people can be so ignorant and mean,
but you can always take revenge. On the next gift-giving occasion,
get her something equally nice! One box of tea-light candles
should do the trick. A two or four pack. They would probably
cost a couple of dollars. Just the price alone would insult
her! The obvious thoughtlessness of the tiny candles adds insult
to injury!!! So, it's like aggravating her twice! Think
of it this way, there is a positive side to her not liking you.
She won't smother you with affection to the point of not having any
privacy. That is something I had to put up with for years, but
not anymore. Best of Luck! 2/17 RESPONSE: A Not-Liked DIL
You can do this one better. Give her a box of tea candles, but
make sure that you've lit each one briefly before wrapping the box.
If this is questioned, let her know that you tested them to make sure
they worked - you would feel really bad if you gave her something
that didn't work. 2/19 RESPONSE: A Not-Liked DIL
Oh dear, I'm sorry, but I cracked up at your story - especially the
part about the pants hanger. That is funny! Hey honey,
why don't you start having a NOT-LIKED MIL. Buy her a discount
coupon at a liposuction clinic. 2/20
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