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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
July 25, 2007
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My MIL passed away 6 years
ago, and my DH is an only child. FIL lives by himself, because
he likes his own space. He is constantly at the cemetery, watering
the flowers on the grave. I asked him to see a grief counselor,
but he refuses, saying that he is fine. Yet, he drops by our home
3 times a week. For a while, he was taking my 2 oldest children
to church on Saturdays at 4, bringing them home after supper at
7, and staying until 10 pm. Then, he'd say, "I'll stop by
tomorrow," which usually meant 9 am, and he'd stay all day
long. He'd leave around 8, so we could have our privacy. In between
all this, he calls. This year, we decided that enough was enough,
and told him that the kids weren't interested in church, and on
Sundays we wanted to take the them on special outings. Well, the
snippety phone calls started. Now, he comes over and hardly talks
to us, complaining all the time that he doesn't feel well. I told
DH that it's for sympathy, and he needs to hang with people his
own age. During the winter, he heads south. We cherish those few
months. Now, he wants to stay around our area year round. For
a while DH felt guilty, because he is the only child. But, FIL
has 6 brothers and sisters, neighbors, and friends with whom he
can do things. I am so annoyed that I can't spend any time with
my DH and children. FIL ignores me totally, and doesn't buy me
any gifts at all. For Mother's Day, he didn't talk to me, but called
the house almost in tears because he couldn't find a plant that
he wanted for "Mommy's" grave. When he comes over, he
only talks to my DH. I sit there reading. Lately, I leave and
go for a walk. He tells my DH that he feels like he's not wanted
here anymore. I want to scream, "Get a clue. You're here
every day of my life. I feel like an outsider."
Signed - Married To An
Only Child
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( here is my story )
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My MIL is right up there
with the worst. This little story is only the beginning. We got
engaged and bought a boat on the same day. All she wanted to hear
about, when we called to tell her of the engagement, was the boat.
I felt like we could not afford to invite all the people I would
want to a wedding, so I wanted to elope. DH is an only child, however,
and I could not deny his wish to have his parents present as we
exchanged vows. We finally compromised and agreed to invite family
members whom we had both met, and one friend each. This equated
to 7 people for me, and 12 for him. Months before the wedding,
MIL made a point to tell me that my mother and I were responsible
for paying for the wedding. First of all, who doesn't know that
the bride's family traditionally pays for the wedding? Second of
all, I am in my thirties. Who, at that age, asks their parents
to pay for a wedding? It's fine if they offer, but I felt that,
at our age, my DH and I should pay for it, as we saw fit. Since
DH wanted the wedding, I felt that he should pay for the majority.
I also showed his mother the dress that I was wearing months before
the wedding. It was a very simple knee length ivory dress. It
matched our simple wedding in a park gazebo, in the afternoon.
Two weeks before the wedding, DH called MIL to check her dress color,
so I could finalize her corsage. First of all, she came back with
the top in WHITE and the bottom in BLACK. Also, the top had sequins,
so she did not want to have a pinned corsage. Maybe she could have
a wrist corsage? How could she even plan to wear what sounded like
such a formal outfit to our small, afternoon garden wedding? She
was going to be dressed up more than me, on my special day! I'm
also fairly certain that I had let everyone know that, in lieu of
a bouquet, I was opting for a wrist corsage, since it was such a
small affair. I felt that it would seem like I was favoring my
mother, to give a corsage to only her, so I had to forgo it altogether.
She also, in this same phone call, asked my DH if we had finalized
a prenuptial agreement, as if it was any of her business. Neither
of us is wealthy, and we did not want a document in place that made
plans for a divorce. She has since brought this up to him on many
occasions. The day of the wedding, she was wearing a white beaded/sequined
top and a floor length skirt. Her current boyfriend was in tow,
wearing a black suit. They looked like they were going to an evening
formal wedding or party. Everyone else was dressed exactly as I
imagined for the event, so they really stuck out like sore thumbs
on the day and in my pictures. After the luncheon, she came up
to me, wanting to give me money for her and her boyfriend's lunch.
I know that she and my DH had paid the bill, and she just wanted
to insult me again. When I told her that it was taken care of,
she responded that she would send DH the money. We chose not to
take a honeymoon, since we had purchased a new house, my ring, a
boat, and paid for the wedding in an 8 month period. We still took
time off to be alone together, and to take advantage of the boat.
All of our other friends and family respected our privacy. But,
two days into the week, she called DH and talked at him for an hour
again, saying that she would be sending money. Two months after
the wedding, MIL came down for a visit. She told me that she couldn't
believe that we had invited DH's stepsisters to our wedding, and
that if she had known this, she would have invited her boyfriend's
sister and her sister, whom I have never met (and will never meet).
I was outraged that she would even question our choice of guests,
and that she would suggest that she would have invited her own guests.
She also proceeded to point out that she had not been sent a thank
you note for our wedding gift. I asked around, and everyone told
me that it was not necessary to send MIL a note. If one was sent,
it should be a personal note from my DH. I told him this, and he
opted not to send one. She acts like it's the 1950's, and all responsibilities
fall on me. But yet, my DH should not support me financially.
Signed - What Did I Ever
Do To You?!
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Working Women Don't Have Wives