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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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January
15, 2002
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DECEMBER
2001
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JANUARY
2002
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After many years of threats
and abuse by my SIL, we decided to pretend that she no longer existed.
My MIL would not let this go. She took my DH for car rides
to keep me from hearing what was said. It did not matter that
my DH had had enough of the letters and threatening accusations
from a sister who was obviously mentally challenged. After
my MIL moved away, the SIL soon followed. I was happy that
things may finally go back to normal. SURPRISE - they did
not! My MIL could not stop sending derogatory emails to us
about her daughter and her husband, who the mother hates.
I asked over and over again for her to stop. I explained that
neither myself nor my husband wanted to know what was happening
with his sister, be it good or bad. We made our decision,
after 6 years of HE!!, to keep this girl out of our lives.
MIL had to accept it, or leave us alone. MIL spent the next
year and a half harassing us by email and phone. She said
she thought we were being unfair. We told her that, even after
SIL had moved, she continued to send her letters to my DH at work
in the mail. During her very first visit after moving, she
was seen by my friend and my DH parked across the street from our
house. There was a letter placed in our mail box. Hmmm
- her handwriting again, same old dirty words too!!! MIL refused
to believe that her daughter could be doing these things to us -
even though several of her own brothers and sisters had warned us
that she was trying to get me - even though we had proof from a
handwriting expert that she wrote everything - even though we had
letters post marked from her state, in her handwriting!!!
Even though she sent us email from off of my MIL's computer!!!
So, now we have to deal with a MIL who thinks that I am the liar
and her daughter has been a perfect angel her entire life.
We did manage to get the SIL to leave us alone for about 9 months.
MIL kept her threatening emails and phone calls coming, though!
The first thing that really, really pissed off my DH, and made him
want to kick his mother's @ss was this: My DH and I left town
for 3 days to celebrate our anniversary. While we were gone,
my frustrated best friend sent an email to my MIL stating how sick
she was about the hurtful things my MIL was doing to me and her
own son. My friend knew everything, and witnessed a great
deal of things from the SIL. She knew what she was talking
about. My MIL, being as paranoid as she is, accused my friend
of being me. So, my friend told her that we were out of town,
and nowhere near a computer. MIL continued to send her about
8 mails a day for 2 weeks straight. All the mail ripped me
and my DH apart, and tried to claim her daughter was, again, an
innocent angel. MIL even wrote a story about my DH and I and
sent it to my friend. At this time, my friend came forward
to tell DH and me about the letters, and she gave us everything.
My friend had even spoken on the phone to MIL when she tried to
accuse me of being the original writer. She knew the truth,
but, instead, she went to her daughter (the Psycho SIL) and told
her that I wrote the letters. This made the SIL start sending
evil letters to my DH at work!!! Yet, at the same time, she
sent me a (so called) apology letter to try and get me to leave
her family alone. She said in it, "I apologize for anything
you 'think' I may have done." Also, she said, "I
did nothing, and had no part of any of it. And, I do not know
who may have." HOW WAS THAT A SERIOUS, HONEST APOLOGY???????
Ok, here are some parts of the story written about me and my husband
by my MIL: (The chair represents me - sick, huh?)
He was once
a vivacious, social, outgoing man. But, his ways have changed.
He's lonely, and seems to have lost most contact with loved ones.
I see the chair again. It's a very large chair, larger than
any chair should ever be. Its fabric is old, used, dank of
a whit patty tone. It's cushions hang low and heavy.
The gentleman daily deodorizes the chair to rid the house of the
smell of carp and bourbon. Friends and family sometimes still
come over. All see that eyesore of a chair, and ask why it
is there. It simply doesn't fit. The man replies, "I
love my chair." People come over, not to see the chair,
of course. They do see the chair. It bothers them that
it is there, BUT no one else has to see it every day, day after
day.
ANYWAY. You get the point. She was trying to show
me how her faaamily feels about me being with her son. I say
that if they can't stand seeing me with him, they should all go
F themselves. I do not speak with any of them anymore.
I prefer that they all stay away from my house too. Luckily,
they pretty much have after Christmas of 2000. I gave a few
of them a last chance, and, still, we heard from MIL that I did
this or that!!!! I sat alone, and only said hello and good-bye
to 1 or 2 of them. Had MIL or PSYCHO SIL been there, we would
not have gone. My DH and I agree that they can not be let
back into our lives.
Signed - They Can Not
Be Let Back Into Our Lives
RESPONSE: They Can Not Be Let Back Into Our Lives
Good Lord! Have you ever heard of a restraining order?
Change your email address, change your phone number - heck, MOVE
AWAY so MIL and SIL cannot find you! You need to do something
about this. Your MIL and SIL are sick people, and seem to
me to have the potential to be very dangerous! You and your
DH need to take legal action NOW! Good luck. And get
away now!
RESPONSE: They Can Not Be Let Back Into Our Lives
Yikes! Did this woman, your SIL, threaten your life?
You should have brought charges against her, or a restraining order.
Why would she act like this? I can understand a mother wanting
to protect an image of a daughter. But, if the rest of the
family agrees with you, what's up. Change your phone number
and get "block sender" on your e-mail. Also, return
letters unopened. Why do you bother reading these hurtful
things? Cut the ties completely, for your safety and sanity.
RESPONSE: They Can Not Be Let Back Into Our Lives
Change your email. Change your telephone number to an unlisted
one. Get caller ID. Don't even open anything that comes
in that handwriting. Get a P.O. Box. Act as if they
don't exist. Do not acknowledge them in your conversations,
emails, or thoughts. This has worked wonders with my physically,
verbally, and psychologically abusive in-laws. My husband
knows that there is a problem, but he cannot talk about it.
He did tell his mother that hitting his wife was a no-no.
And, the in-laws have stayed away, except for the occasional hang
up call on the day he leaves on another business trip. Right
after the incident, they would only call on his cell phone.
Then, his mother faked a heart attack a week before her second son's
wedding. And, now, his 2nd brother calls our house.
This is the same guy whose wife tried to use my desire not to change
my name after marriage as a brownie point opportunity when she told
MIL how excited she was to change her name, and how I wasn't going
to. I don't see much of her, either. The people whom
we are all dealing with are so insecure. You have the support
of your husband, and you will get through this (and, eventually,
laugh at the antics of these little children in adult bodies).
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My MIL accuses me of being
sick, because I am too close to her oldest son! She says that
it isn't natural for us to SHARE everything with each other.
I think she is afraid just what it is that he has shared with me.
It must be killing her to know that I have heard about the sick
things that happen in this family. I have read the letters
my DH's sister wrote him when he was in the navy. She confessed
her un-sisterly love to him. She even begged him to come home
and marry her. It is hard to believe that she was almost 19
years old at the time!!! My MIL and SIL hate that I know so
much about "their" family. I have heard them tell
the stories about how every time an "outsider" tries to
join the family, my MIL starts telling everyone that they are perverted
in some way or another. I watched her try to destroy her daughter's
fiancé with lies about him. They told everyone.
But the daughter who loved him asked why they would not tell HER
if they were truly concerned that he did these things?!!!
Years later, MIL tried to accuse her oldest daughter's boyfriend
of the exact same thing. They got married, too. She
is always interfering in her children's personal relationships!
She says it is her duty as the "matriarch". I say
it is her SICKNESS!!! How dare this woman try to tell me I
HAVE TO CHANGE my DH's bad habits. Then, she turned around
and told her family that I am a controlling b!tch, trying to change
her son. My SIL tells people this too. Yet, it was the
2 of them who tried to convince me that he needed to be changed.
I am thankful that he left that house at a young age to join the
navy. The few others who moved out in their mid teens have
seemed to be better off also. It must have been difficult,
growing up in places too small for a group of almost 20, and never
having contact with other children. They moved a lot, and
were not allowed to go to school. At one point, they lived
out in the desert, away from society. They did not even have
running water! The only entertainment they had was each other
and the rats. GROSS!
Signed - Each Other And
The Rats
RESPONSE: Each Other And The Rats
Not to be mean, but how did you meet this guy? A past like
that is sure as heck going to come back and haunt you. They
all sound sick. You've got your hands full with that crew.
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Frequent
Fry Her TM - Devil Made
Me Do It 1 of 4 Needed /Posted: 15-JAN-02
I was so glad to find this site. And the stories
have been interesting! It's nice to know that I'm not the
only one who has a nut case for a MIL. Anyway, my MIL is one
of those control freaks who thinks her son should still ask her
to use the "potty". We live in a small town where
everyone knows when their neighbor flushes the toilet. So,
it's easy for her to find out things (as it is easy for us to find
out about her). She is a manipulative person, who uses our
children against me. We are each divorced once. He has
2 children, ages 4 and 5. And I have one who is 2 years old.
So, she uses his two against me with the head games and the put
downs, and she uses mine by not including him in things with the
other two. He says, "That's the way she is, you just
have to deal with it and go on!" I somewhat agree, in
that I think she will never change, but she continues to manipulate
me and him, and tries to make me the b!tch, because it is all my
fault. The most recent thing is that she took the two eldest
children to a discount department store (1 week after Christmas)
and bought one of DH's children an outfit and two dolls. The
other child got one of those ride on things. And my son got
nothing! The ride on toy was $170 bucks! The outfit
and dolls, maybe $20. Money isn't really the point.
But, DH's children got to bring home the things they got, and my
son was getting left out! This has been going on forever,
but in a smaller capacity - candy, soda, etc. My DH thinks
that this is OK, I guess, since his sister got it all as a child
and he was labeled a farm hand. Now, his kids can get what
he didn't! I REALLY want to tell her to put the stuff she
bought where the sun doesn't shine, but I can't. I am really
tired of her games, and making me look like the witch. She
played these games with my DH's ex, and that's part of the reason
she's his ex. But, I have a spine and I want to stand up for
myself. It is hard to do when the DH thinks she's normal for
being abnormal! I know this is a lot to digest, but does anyone
have any ideas?
Signed - DH Thinks She's
Normal For Being Abnormal!
(
I want my own
Frequent Fry Her TM Page )
RESPONSE: DH Thinks She's Normal For Being Abnormal!
OK! Here's what you have got to do (in my humble opinion of
course). Have a long, hard talk with DH. Tell him that
it's your side or his mother's side, and he should choose.
There is nothing more horrible than to see your kid be discriminated
against. This must stop! Together you should tell your
MIL that she must either treat all the kids on equal terms, or leave
your lives for good. Either way, you will win.
RESPONSE: DH Thinks She's Normal For Being Abnormal!
You're right - this is not normal. Nice, normal people care
about a child's feelings. On one hand, your child is not her
grandchild. She doesn't really "owe" your child
things. After all, when he goes to see his father and his
family, perhaps he gets gifts the other kids don't. But, obligation
or no, why can't MIL find enough love in her heart to be a granny
to a 2 year old? It may not have to be equal, but let's be
fair. I wouldn't dream of giving my 2 biological grandchildren
gifts and not give SOMEthing to my DIL's young child (when they
all live in the house together). I feel badly for your child,
and I sure would hate to see him grow up feeling like your DH does
deep down inside. Talk with your DH, and see if you can come
to an agreement (maybe something like trading very big gifts in
and getting a family-friendly toy for all the kids?). Point
out to DH that this is only going to get worse if you have children
together. Then, your little guy is SURE going to do some suffering.
RESPONSE: DH Thinks She's Normal For Being Abnormal!
YOU CAN TELL HER, and you should. She must buy gifts for all
the children, or none at all. What she is doing is ABUSE -
mental abuse - and as a mother, you must stick up for your child.
That is like you inviting your in-laws to dinner, but not serving
your MIL any. Imagine if everyone but her was given a plate.
What an uproar that would cause. Her treatment of your child
is even worse than the above example, because she is an adult doing
it to a CHILD. Lay down the law. If that fails, tell
her to shove it where the sun doesn't shine! What a b!tch.
RESPONSE: DH Thinks She's Normal For Being Abnormal!
Explain to your DH that your child should not be punished because
he is your child. When the two of you were married, you became
a blended family. I'm sure your DH would not like it if his
children were being left out, and your child was being spoiled.
He has to have a serious talk with his mother about her behavior.
If she doesn't want to do for your children, then she should not
do for the others. MIL is hurting the children (yours and
his) because they do not understand, at that age, why they are being
treated differently. When they are older, there will be huge
problems between the kids because of favoritism. I've seen
it in my own family, with my grandmother. It is not pretty.
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I have a thousand MIL
horror stories. She never wanted to baby-sit, bought all her
gifts in the dollar store (even though she gambled thousands on
her trips to Atlantic City), and made up horrible nicknames for
all her daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law, etc. However, the
trick she pulled on me when my father died was an all time low.
MIL always weaseled out of every baby-sitting request. However,
when my son was 5, my father (his grandfather) died. Naturally,
my entire family would be at the funeral home on the night of the
viewing. I had no one to baby-sit my son, so I asked MIL if
she would please baby-sit DS so he wouldn't have to see his beloved
grandfather in the casket. She said she would, but that I
should take him to the funeral home instead of driving the 2 miles
to her house, and she would arrive and pick him up there before
the viewing began. The viewing was from 7-9pm. I waited
and waited for her to arrive, but no MIL. My poor little boy
sat in the smoking room of the funeral home for nearly two hours.
I kept thinking that she would surely arrive any minute now.
She couldn't stoop this low, could she? At nearly 9pm, she
waltzed in wearing her trademark pastel pants and sweatshirt casual
clothes, and explained that she'd been shopping with her sister
and had lost track of time. She had a slight smirk on her
face as she said, "Is my grandson ready to go home with me
now?" Isn't she lovely?
Signed - Precious
RESPONSE: Precious
If your MIL didn't baby-sit for you that night, she should have
been at your father's viewing offering her condolences to you and
your husband. Did she ever say to you, "Sorry to hear
about your father's death."?
RESPONSE: Precious
I do think it's horrible of your MIL to make up nicknames for her
DILs. But, with all due respect, I feel a bit uneasy at your
taking offense at her getting gifts at the dollar store. Some
people just don't give huge, debt-inducing gifts (that might be
healthy!). As long as she doesn't single anyone out for mean,
passive-aggressive gifts (like that poor poster who had been given
used toenail clippers!). To be honest, I think any baby-sitting
a MIL does is a bonus. It's not for us to say that she OWES
it to us. We're the ones who decided to have the baby, after
all (unless she begged you to have a baby, and promised she'd baby-sit!).
A lot of DILs have the opposite problem - my MIL practically beat
us out of the way to get her hands on the baby! I'm sure there's
more to your story - and your MIL has wronged you in lots more ways.
I WISH my MIL would be a little less interested in baby-sitting!
RESPONSE: Precious
Your MIL not baby-sitting and being late, etc., is a great opportunity
for you to laugh and refuse to do HER any favors! This includes,
by the way, inviting her for birthdays, etc. Just say, "Hey,
you butt in for everything except when we need you. You can't
be bothered! You can't have it both ways!" All
these MIL stories make me ill, because in each and every case, the
DILs don't seem to be standing up to them FROM THE BEGINNING.
At the first sign of nastiness say, "Hey, you've got to EARN
a place in our lives, lady. We'll get on fine if you behave.
Everybody knows about MILs!"
RESPONSE: Precious
I hope you have put her in her place since the incident at the funeral
home. If you keep quiet, she will abuse you forever.
She sounds VERY nasty!
RESPONSE: Precious
What a Witch! I would never bother asking her for anything
again. Nor would I volunteer to help her out ever again.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives